


Gentle Repose

by GirlwithCurls98



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Disaster Lineage (Star Wars), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e08 Brain Invaders, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbians in Space, Light Angst, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Minor Barriss Offee/Ahsoka Tano, Missing Scene, Nightmares, Protective Anakin Skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28488069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GirlwithCurls98/pseuds/GirlwithCurls98
Summary: The fallout from "Brain Invaders" as seen through a few different perspectives. Expanding a bit on Ahsoka & Anakin's conversation at the end of the episode, and seeing how Luminara is coping with all of this.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Barriss Offee & Ahsoka Tano, Barriss Offee & Luminara Unduli, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 30
Kudos: 139





	1. Master of Tranquility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And while Obi-Wan was indeed worried about his grand-padawan, his first responsibility was to prevent Anakin from injuring any medics in a blind panic."

“She’s what?!” 

Obi-Wan Kenobi sighed as he watched Kit Fisto try (unsuccessfully) to reassure Anakin about Ahsoka’s condition. He pinched the bridge of his nose, already feeling a headache starting to bloom from his former student’s projecting. Their Force bond had evolved and adapted over the years with their partnership, but had never gone completely silent. 

And it always spiked in times like these. If someone Anakin cared about was hurt, or in trouble, or being threatened (or some combination thereof, knowing their line of work), their bond would flare with intense energy fueled by his worry. It was frazzled, sparking with mental electricity. It could get overwhelming and had not improved when Anakin took on a padawan of his own. 

Today had been bad. Actually, the entire week had been bad. Geonosis was quite possibly Obi-Wan’s least favorite place in the galaxy, but the rest of the Council had insisted that his first hand “experience” with the native wildlife would be an invaluable asset in taking the system. 

It’d been a successful mission, if nothing else. Thanks to the efforts of four Jedi Knights, two Padawans, the 501st, 212th, 41st and 21st clone legions- they’d managed to retake the planet, take down a droid factory, and capture a major Separatist leader. 

_ But at what cost?  _ He’d almost been killed crashing into the damn planet and had barely gotten out of a bacta tank before having to rescue a captured Luminara from the Genosian Queen. And all the while, said queen attempted to possess them with brain corrupting parasites. 

Parasites that managed to get aboard a medical frigate and infect the entire crew. They would’ve infected the Ord Cestus medical station too, had Ahsoka not broken the coolant system, almost freezing to death in the process. And this was after surviving a gunship crash, blowing up a factory while still inside, and being buried under tons of rubble. 

So he understood Anakin’s upset perfectly. Every Master was distressed when their padawan was badly hurt, even more so when you were the one that put them in that situation in the first place. 

Every Master… except Master Luminara Unduli, it seemed. She was deliberately standing on the opposite side of the room while Kit Fisto tried to extinguish the protective inferno that was Anakin Skywalker, and to the untrained eye, appeared not to be listening. But Obi-Wan and Luminara had been age-mates. Despite her cool exterior, he could feel her signature faltering as Kit described the padawans’ injuries. 

He walked over to where she stared out the viewfinder into the expanse of hyperspace. They stood in comfortable silence, another habit from their Creche days. He stretched out his own calm energy to envelop them both and he felt her tension ease a bit through the Force. 

“Master Fisto said it’ll take some time for their sedatives to wear off.” He said. This was always the best way to begin with Luminara, stating a simple and mutually understood fact. 

“Yes. Although Barriss will likely take longer than Master Fisto’s estimations. She’s always been sensitive to traditional sedatives. Is Ahsoka the same way? I’m afraid I’m not incredibly experienced with Togrutan physiology.” 

A typical Luminara answer, trying to direct the focus back towards others. 

“Like Master, like Padawan, I’m afraid. Unless Master Fisto intends to post a guard, Ahsoka’ll be out of bed as soon as she can, whether or not she  _ should _ .”

“Well, I think Master Skywalker will be able to help. Wouldn’t want to subject an innocent clone to that fate.” 

_ There we go.  _ That was Luminara without the plastered serenity, her warm amusement wrapping around them like a summer’s wind. 

“And are you planning on joining him, Master Luminara?” 

The wind turned cold, icy even. She crossed her arms over her chest, grasping at her elbows as if to ward off the chill. 

“I will check on her when we dock at the station. But I would prefer to keep myself busy until she wakes.”

Obi-Wan hummed, looking over at Anakin as he signed off and started talking to Rex, the young man’s signature still unsettled and prickly. “We all cope with our Padawans’ troubles in different ways.” 

She was silent for a long moment before a faint smile graced her lips. “Do they ever stop being our Padawans?” 

He laughed, reaching over to squeeze her shoulder, sending a brief stream of support in the Force. 

“I’ll let you know when it happens.” 

She turned to look at him fully, eyes bright with unshed tears. She opened her mouth as if to speak and then shut it abruptly as they both sensed Anakin’s approach. She straightened, folding her hands behind her back. Obi-Wan mirrored her posture; Luminara trusted him enough to let her guard down and that he wouldn’t fault her when she had to put it back up. 

“I appreciate you joining us, Master Kenobi. Your insight is most helpful.”

“Thank Ki-Adi, he offered to handle Poggle alone so I could tag along.”

In actuality, Ki-Adi Mundi had told Obi-Wan in no uncertain terms that he would dare “send one of Ahsoka’s teachers without sending the other.”

Obi-Wan had laughed at that initially, but there was a degree of truth to it. Some days he felt as if he had two padawans. His blood had turned cold upon hearing what had happened aboard the ship. Being possessed by a creature, stripped of your free will, and forced to harm your closest friends- it must have been terrifying for the clones and young ones both. 

And while Obi-Wan was indeed worried about his grand-padawan, his first responsibility was to prevent Anakin from injuring any medics in a blind panic. 

Anakin had calmed somewhat as he approached the other Jedi, their bond no longer mimicking a live wire. He rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous habit Obi-Wan had never managed to break him of. 

“Master Fisto reports that the medical supplies were dispatched to Dantooine, but we should remain on stand-by in case Master Windu needs backup.” 

“The majority of the 41st has already been sent to Ossus to rendezvous with Master Secura’s forces. I’ll have to head there as soon as Barriss and my other clones have recovered.”

Obi-Wan marveled at how while the Mirilan Master was different from his apprentice in nearly every aspect, neither did well with being idle for long periods of time, channeling their need to be useful in different ways. A clear plan of action for the future steadied Luminara, while Anakin’s clear plan never extended beyond the current moment. 

“That’s alright.” Obi-Wan said. “With the 501st restored and the 212th rested, we’ll be more than able to assist Master Windu if necessary.” 

“Then I’ll go comm Master Secura and update her.” Luminara bowed her head to both of them and made a graceful exit. As she left, Obi-Wan’s bond with Anakin started to fizz again and his headache started to return. 

“How is she?” 

Anakin folded his arms over his chest, looking up to the ceiling to avoid eye contact. 

“When the clones’ body temperature dropped, the parasites couldn’t survive and tried to find a new host. But since the entire ship was cold, they were moving so slowly that it was easy for the medical staff to contain them.”

“Anakin-” 

“Preliminary brain scans show no internal damage, although they won’t know for sure until they’re awake and can test memory, reactions, stuff like that.” He was starting to ramble now, tripping over his words like he was fighting to keep them in order. 

“Anakin.”

“Only three casualties, not bad when you consider-”

“ _ Anakin.”  _

Anakin looked back to his Master, his anchor point since he’d been nine years old. They held eye contact for a long moment as they push-pulled emotions across their bond, until Anakin sighed and his shoulders slumped. 

“Ahsoka is fine, physically anyway. Bacta dunk for the frostbite, IV to compensate for the adrenaline drop. Fisto tried to put’em in a healing trance, but they’re both so damn stubborn he had to use a sedative first.” 

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but chuckle. “They’re both very strong willed, much like their Masters.”

He’d intended to distract Anakin with the compliment, but it was no use. He was a young, protective Master with a reckless student and couldn’t pull himself out of his worry, not alone. 

Obi-Wan reached out mentally and physically, grasping his former student’s shoulders with an intensity strong enough to break Anakin’s thought spiral. 

“Ahsoka is well, Anakin. She’s safe and Master Fisto is taking care of their physical healing. When we get there, you’ll be able to start in on her mental state.” 

“She won’t see a Mind Healer.” Anakin growled, his annoyance crystal clear in the Force. 

_ Neither will you.  _ Obi-Wan thought, but knew that was still a losing battle. 

“I didn’t say she needed a Mind Healer. Ahsoka will need you, Anakin. You know her better than anyone and you’ll be able to help her process what happened.”

“But I’m the one that put her on the ship in the first place!”

And there it was. Anakin was one of the most powerful living Jedi with enough compassion and determination to impact entire star systems. He was a brilliant pilot, a lethal warrior, but above all, a protector. Every master would walk through fire to protect their student, but it was impossible to shield them from everything forever. 

“None of this is your fault, Anakin. We didn’t know the troops were infected or that the parasites could even spawn outside of the Queen’s temple. But now we do. And thanks to you, we also know how to stop them. Ahsoka went on the mission because you ordered her to, but you were also the one who helped her survive. That is the job of a Master.”

Anakin rolled his eyes, forever a volatile teenager. “Deliberately putting my padawan in harm’s way?”

Obi-Wan tightened his grip, putting a steady pressure on the bond. “Giving them the tools to succeed when we can’t be there to help them.”

In a heartbeat, the bond shut down and shields went up. For the first time since the medical frigate had missed their check in nearly 24 hours ago, their link was quiet. 

“I don’t even know what to say. ‘Sorry you almost died Snips, but you did a great job and it could’ve been way worse?’” 

Obi-Wan dropped his hands, folding them behind his back. As my old Master would say- feel, don’t think. Trust your instincts, they’ve always served you well, especially where Ahsoka is concerned.”

Anakin sighed heavily, running his hands through his hair which made it even more disorderly than usual. “They should write books for this sort of thing.” 

He raised an eyebrow, letting warmth and teasing flow through their bond to nudge their way past the shields. 

“What, ‘How to raise Padawans in a warzone: 101’?”

Anakin laughed, a real laugh, and everything felt lighter. “Something like that.” 

“Go get some rest, little one. You’ll need all your strength to keep Ahsoka from frightening the healers.”

Anakin punched him in the arm. “Hey, I’ve got my own padawan now and at least a foot taller than you. Save that for the younglings.”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “Padawan-mine, you could be 107 years old and four feet taller than me, and I will still call you ‘little one’. Now get some sleep. That’s an order.” 

Anakin bowed, even as he rolled his eyes. “Yes Master.”

As he left, their bond opened again and a whispered word of gratitude flowed across. Obi-Wan sighed and turned back to the viewport, watching as the lights streaked by. 

_ It’s going to be a long day.  _


	2. Rex to the Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you saying that it's fine to form emotional attachments to our Padawans." Anakin snarked, the humor briefly smothering his frantic energy like starving a fire of oxygen. 
> 
> "I'm saying that it's impossible to raise a young padawan without forming an emotional attachment. I know I did. And I know you have."

As they boarded the transport from the cruiser to the station, Obi-Wan was quick to pull Anakin aside. The anxious energy strangling their link had returned, because no matter what Master Fisto said, Anakin wouldn’t be satisfied until he saw his apprentice safe and alive with his own eyes. 

Obi-Wan knew the futility of what he was about to attempt, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t give it an honest shot. 

“Anakin, when we dock, give Master Luminara a moment alone before you go see Ahsoka.” He held up his hand to cut off the iminent protest. 

“I know, I know. You want to see her as soon as possible, I understand. However,” He lowered his voice, not needing to draw any unnecessary attention. “Even though she has difficulty showing it, Luminara is also distressed about the state of her padawan. And she won’t show it, not with anyone watching. Give her a moment, please.”

He watched Anakin cycle through several emotions before he eventually sighed and folded his arms over his chest. 

“Are you saying that it’s fine to form emotional attachments to our padawans?” He snarked, the humor briefly smothering his frantic energy like starving a fire of oxygen. 

“I’m saying that it’s impossible to raise a young padawan without forming an emotional attachment. I know I did. And I know you have.” 

“Spare me the lecture, Master, just this once.” 

“All I’m saying is that it’s your responsibility as a Master to temper that emotional attachment. Luminara manages hers quietly. And though she’ll never say so, she’ll be very grateful for this.” 

Obi-Wan smiled warmly, hoping it was reassuring. His former apprentice was calm, at least, on the surface. 

_ Time to call in reinforcements.  _

As they exited the transport, Anakin and Luminara both at a pace that could barely be considered as walking, Obi-Wan made a beeline for Captain Rex. 

“Captain.” 

The clone turned, removing his bucket to tuck it under one arm. “What can I do for you, General?”

“General Unduli would like a moment alone with her apprentice. Would it be too much trouble for you to-” 

“Distract General Skywalker for a moment?” 

Obi-Wan grinned. Rex was a perfect match to his Jedi General, much like Cody was to him. 

“Just for a moment, Captain. And then you’re free to check on the rest of your men.” 

He nodded, but Obi-Wan didn’t miss the flicker of anxiety in his face. 

“Will the Commanders be alright, sir?” 

“They will. But do me a favor, and keep an eye on her for me anyway?” 

With that, he clapped Rex on the shoulder and headed for the command center in search of Master Fisto. 

_ May the Force be with you, Captain. You’re going to need it.  _

* * *

Anakin paced back and forth outside the door, desperately trying to calm down. Ahsoka was in there, she was hurt, but he would not help by disturbing their bond with all of this harried energy. 

He was trying, honestly! He’d even let Luminara go in alone. He was being as patient as he could under the circumstances, and he really didn’t appreciate Obi-Wan recruiting Rex as a babysitter. On one hand, the steady presence of his loyal Captain was always reassuring. On the other, if he had to wait a second longer to see his injured apprentice, he was going to vibrate through the wall. 

“I’m glad to hear the Commander’s recovering, Sir. The rest of the men have been asking ‘bout her.” 

Anakin finally stopped and turned to face Rex, though he was struggling to keep still. He had to remember that while Ahsoka was his responsibility, he was not the only one that was worried for her. Within a week of being at his side, Ahsoka had found herself adopted and under the watch of a few thousand new older brothers. 

“Thanks, Rex. I’ll let her know.” 

“Must’ve been one helluva fight.”

The Knight’s expression darkened, guilt and regret and worry crashing over him like a wave. “It was. For both of them.” 

He turned to continue his pacing and Rex let him be. There was only so much he could do. And it’s not like this was something the Kaminoans covered in training. 

Sighing, he risked a glance inside the room. A rock he hadn’t known was in his stomach seemed to evaporate when he caught a glimpse of Ahsoka, fast asleep. The other girl, Commander Offee was asleep too, looking no worse for wear. General Unduli was sitting on the edge of her bed, talking softly. 

Rex knew he shouldn’t be watching, but he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away. Though he respected General Unduli, he didn’t know her well. seeing her like this, she seemed almost motherly. Or at least, what he thought might be motherly, considering he hadn’t actually had one. 

The Mirilan Master placed her hand on Barriss’s head, letting the padawan know that she was safe and that Luminara was happy to see her. Even deep in a healing trance, Barriss tugged on the bond faintly, acknowledging her teacher’s presence. Said acknowledgement was then followed by a weak inquiry, wanting to know if she needed to wake up. 

Luminara shook her head, fully aware that her apprentice couldn’t see.  _ /Take your time, padawan./  _ she called the Force to her, tucking it around her apprentice like a well-worn blanket, gently pushing her farther into trance. 

The elder Jedi took a breath, recentered as she stood and straightened herself out. She dropped a soft kiss on Barriss’ forehead and turned to leave before she could convince herself to stay. Skywalker’s Captain met her eyes then dropped his gaze to the floor. 

Luminara kept her head high and spine ramrod straight as she left the room. The soldier looked up, an apology on his lips, but she smiled and shook her head. 

Anakin, who was at the farthest end of his pacing, came speeding back down the hallway when he saw Luminara. He forced himself to stop, though she could see that it was taking all of his effort to appear collected. 

“Master Skywalker, I’d appreciate it if you’d call when Barriss wakes up. I’d like to thank Ahsoka too; you’ve done very well training her.”

Anakin didn’t even register the compliment, instead proud that he at least managed a “Thank you Master” and an “I’ll let you know right away” before he stepped around her and dashed to his padawan’s bedside. 

* * *

Anakin had always been a strong swimmer. After a decade of growing up on a desert planet, Obi-Wan had to practically drag his padawan out of the pool after lessons. He’d run successful missions through oceans, monsoons, and full on water worlds without so much as a hiccup. 

But there was this one time. 

It seemed like a lifetime ago, thinking about it now, though in reality had been less than three years. He’d still been a padawan then, on their last mission before they were called back to protect Senator Amidala, ultimately ending up in what would be the beginning of the Clone Wars. Everything had been so much simpler. 

Luminara, Barriss, Obi-Wan, and himself had been dispatched to Ansion, some middle of nowhere mining planet that just happened to be incredibly important to the Republic. Much to his annoyance, they weren’t allowed to use speeders, instead traveling on these massive six-legged beasts called subbutars. One morning, while crossing a river, Anakin had become distracted and fallen from his saddle. 

Before he could even process what had happened, he was being pulled at, dragged downriver away from the group and quickly sucked beneath the surface. He kicked and fought to get away, but his robes were twisted around his saber and this unseen thing kept dragging him down. Barriss Offee jumped in after him and within moments, she’d killed the water creature, a garrik, according to their guides. 

There was a feeling when the garrik had died. The force sucking him downard had let go. Even though he was still underwater, lungs still seizing- it was like he could breathe again. This moment felt eerily similar. 

Ahsoka was sleeping. Anakin had to continually remind himself that, although they looked nearly the same, there was a medical difference between sleeping and just being unconscious. Ahsoka was sleeping. And as Anakin stood there by his padawan’s bedside, watching her sleep beneath the thin hospital blanket- the weight pulling him down let go. He could breathe again. 

_ Does she look cold? _

It was a ridiculous thought, of course she wasn’t cold. The medcenter went to great lengths to maintain the comfort and health of their patients blah blah blah, but really  _ does it look like she’s cold?  _

Ahsoka’s bed back a the Temple was less of a bed and more of a nest, a mess of blankets and pillows that she insisted had a specific order. It reminded him of the 501st; the clones would often gather close togehter when they slept, if not for warmth but security. They’d press in even closer if Ahsoka was resting with thing and he never could be sure who was really protecting who. 

Anakin pulled off his cloak and tucked it around her anyway. If nothing else, it was a familiar reassurance, like Obi-Wan’s cloak always was for him. 

She was asleep, but had clearly been through one “helluva” fight, as Rex had put it. Despite her brief bacta dunk, there was a dappled pattern of dark violet bruises forming on one of her lekku and one on top of her montrals that was particularly nasty looking. 

“Minor injuries” Master Fisto had said. Cuts, scrapes, and bruises. Mild frostbite. Everything would heal quickly, completely. But Anakin was much more worried about her mind. He looked over towards Barriss and then back at his own charge. 

_ If Obi-Wan had been possessed like Barriss… or Rex or any of the men had been stolen like that. Would I have been able to do what she did?  _

__ He’d seen some of the security footage taken from the medical frigate. It hadn’t been pretty. And he couldn’t shake this sinking feeling that what he’d seen was only a small part of the horror story. 

Anakin took a deep breath, closing his eyes, letting the Force move through him and take some of his fears away. 

Ahsoka was asleep. Asleep, healing, breathing. Not lying dead or crazed on the floor of that kriffing medical frigate that he’d insisted she go on. Everything was okay. 

Except it wasn’t. He wouldn’t be completely okay until he saw her eyes open, heard her whine about being stuck in bed when she’d rather be training or trailing behind him. Their bond, normally alive with bright emotions and her firey optimisim was silent and still. 

_ It’s normal. Part of the healing trance.  _ He’d been in his fair share of them and it was common for the connections to go numb, feeling fuzzy and amorphous. It still sucked, not having her effervescent energy on the other end of their link. 

Anakin sighed. He brushed his hand over the top of her montrals gently, sending a soft wave of comfort and warmth through the Force before retreating to a lone chair across from her bed. He propped one ankle onto his knee and leaned back, letting his head thump against the wall. His gaze shifted from Ahsoka to Barriss and then back to Ahsoka, before finally settling onto the viewport out into the expanse of space. He took a breath and slowly sank into a meditative trance, keeping a silent vigil over the healing padawans. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The mission on Ansion comes from "The Approaching Storm" novel written by Alan Dean Foster. It's a great read, especially if you're a fan of Luminara and Obi-Wan. In the book, Barriss is the one that falls into the river and is nearly drowned by the garrik, but I changed it for the purposes of this story. Hope you enjoyed!


	3. Wake Me Up (Wake Me Up Inside)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Of all the pillars of Jedi wisdom, this was the one Anakin struggled upholding the most. In fact, he was pretty sure he was the least qualified person in the entire Order to talk about this, let alone teach it. Where's Obi-Wan when you need him?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The majority of this chapter is taken straight from "Brain Invaders". There are some direct quotes and some changed for the purposes of the narrative. In either case, hope you enjoy and may the Force be with you!

The Temple healers never believed her, but in Ahsoka Tano’s (albeit limited) experience, there were three types of healing trances. 

The first felt like nothing, because it was nothing. Just utter blackness, the lights completely out and then you woke up 12 to 18 hours later feeling slightly less like a reanimated corpse. That kind wasn’t too bad, if a little disorienting. One minute you’re lying on the ground with your head pounding and every single nerve ending screaming in pain. And then the next thing you know, you’re waking up to a med-droid shining a light in your eyes. 

The second kind was the worst. That kind at least got you back in your body, but unable to do anything. You could hear everyone around you, feel some things, but be completely unable to respond. Ahsoka hated this kind the most. It was nice to hear Rex or Master Obi-Wan when they came by to check on her and Kix always talked to her while he worked, explaining what he was doing. But it sucked to hear her Master’s voice when he was so upset and have no way to let him know that she was okay. Even their bond was muffled, like trying to speak with your mouth taped shut. 

The third kind of healing trance was her favorite, although it did worry her that at 14 she had a favorite form of involuntary unconsciousness. In the third kind, she felt like she was floating. Her body was gone, the pain was gone, it was just her mind and the streams of the unifying Force. No time, no space, just true peace and healing. She always woke up from those trances feeling hazy and safe, cradled by the energy that bound the very universe together. 

And this time was no exception. She woke up slowly, not really remembering what she’d been doing before going into the trance. But nothing felt dangerous and she was warm and wasn’t really in any hurry to get up. 

She reoriented herself in her body first. Yep, all four limbs, she could tell which way was up, and she knew her name, age, and all that other fun info they ask you when you’re concussed. So far, so good. Slowly, she blinked her eyes open once, twice. It was hazy at first, but as her vision cleared, she recognized Anakin, sitting on a chair at the end of her bed.  _ Good. He’s okay. Wait, why am I glad that he’s okay?  _

And at that moment, everything that happened on the medical frigate came rushing back, the memories punching into her midsection and knocking the wind out of her with the enormity of them. 

Ahsoka gasped, shooting straight up in bed, eyes darting wildly around. Her mind was racing as she took stock of her surroundings. She was herself, she knew that, the worms hadn’t gotten to her. But where was she? And where was Barriss? The medical station! She vaguely remembered talking with Master Fisto, but what had he said? Had she failed? What was- 

Pressure. Steadying, grounding pressure on both shoulders. A warm voice, soft but insistent, demanding her attention. Someone was there, sitting on the edge of her bed, speaking to her. 

“It’s alright Ahsoka, it’s okay.” 

_ Oh, right. Anakin’s here.  _

__ Her master squeezed her shoulders, sending waves of reassurance through their link until she looked up and met his eyes. He seemed relieved, smiling. 

“It’s okay.” He repeated. “You’re safe.” 

Her breathing slowed, then her thoughts calmed enough for her to process them one at a time. She decided it was best to start with the obvious. 

“Hey Master.”

“Hey yourself, kiddo. How’re you feeling?” He gently eased her back until she laid down again, tucking her back in with one hand. 

How was she feeling? It took her a minute to think about it. 

“I’m… okay. Head’s all buzzy.” She shook her head back and forth rapidly, as if that would clear the proverbial cobwebs. 

Anakin nodded, pitching his voice low in deference to her sensitive hearing and the other still sleeping padawan. 

“Your lekku are bruised and a bit on the top of your montrals. Do you remember how that happened?” 

The panic shot through her again, a lance of pain driving through her temples. She would have sat up again if not for Anakin’s quick reactions, taking her shoulders and pinning her in place. 

“Where’s Barriss?” She demanded, struggling against the Knight’s hold. 

“Easy, easy, she’s safe. You’re both safe, little one, look.” He nodded towards the other bed, keeping a tight grip so she couldn’t try anything stupid. 

Ahsoka followed his gaze and sucked in a sharp breath when she saw. Barriss was sleeping; the Togruta watched the breaths rise and fall within the girl’s chest just to be sure. And she felt alright in the Force, felt like herself again. She turned back to Anakin and sunk back into the bed, lekku stripes darkening at her overreaction. 

“Barriss is fine, thanks to your efforts. And so are the clones.” He kept the smile on his face, warmth and pride pulsing through their bond. 

_ I must’ve really scared him.  _

“What were those things?” she managed, hating how weak and raspy her voice sounded. 

“I think I can help answer that!” The jovial voice drew their attention to the door and the bright grin of Kit Fisto. He gave Barriss a quick glance and then approached Ahsoka’s bed. 

“We’ve had the parasite worms analyzed; they’re the same type of creature you found on Geonosis, Master Skywalker.” 

Ahsoka looked up at Anakin, confused.  _ When did they find the worm things on that dust-ball? _

Anakin thought for a moment before getting to his feet and walking over to Master Fisto. His voice shifted, moving away from being her teacher and into his ‘General’ mode. 

“We’ll have to inform the troops still on Geonosis. This parasite might explain how they recaptured the planet the first time. I don’t want it happening again.” 

Master Fisto nodded. “We’re already working on an antidote, but I’ll comm them right away.” His eyes shifted from Anakin to Ahsoka. 

“You have been through quite an ordeal, little one. You should get some more rest.” 

Ahsoka bit the inside of her cheek. “Master Skywalker? May I have a word?”

Anakin raised an eyebrow at the use of the formal title, easily catching her unspoken request. He nodded and then looked to Master fisto. He nodded as well, but before taking his leave, he approached Ahsoka’s bedside, crouching to get to eye level. 

“Now don’t get any ideas, little one.” He winked and unhooked her lightsaber from the back of his belt. “No escape attempts.” 

Ahsoka giggled, taking the proffered saber and holding it tight, grateful to have the familiar weight back in her hand. “Not a problem, Master Fisto. Thank you for patching us up.” 

“Yes, thanks for taking care of them.” Anakin added. “I know they’re a handful.”

Kit laughed, standing and clapping Anakin on the shoulder. “Well, I’ll leave this particular handful to you, Master Skywalker.” 

And with that, the nautolan was gone again, his bright, glowing energy lingering in the air. Anakin took a deep breath, letting the tension in his shoulders ease a bit.  _ Alright, focus. Time to be all Master-y.  _

Ahsoka fiddled with her lightsaber as Anakin sat back down on the side of her bed, hand automatically reaching out for hers. 

“What’s on your mind, Snips?” He asked, infusing the nickname with as much calm as he could. Her end of the bond felt troubled, disturbed like skipping stones causing ripples on a pond. 

“Master, on the ship Barriss was… gone.” Bright blue eyes met his own, earnest and worried. “She wanted me to kill her, she told me-” 

Anakin spared her from going into detail, sensing her growing upset. “But you couldn’t do it.” 

She shook her head, dropping her eyes to her lap. “No. No I couldn’t. But should I have? I mean, it worked out now, but what if we’d failed? If the ship docked and the worms spread and-”

Anakin raised a hand to cut off the thought spiral. He knew first-hand how you could drive yourself crazy obsessing over what-ifs. There was more here than her worry over the parasites and how close she’d come to being infected herself. He raised his shields and chose his next words carefully, thinking before he spoke for once in his life. 

“Ahsoka, it’s your duty to save as many lives as you can. Barriss knew you could save thousands if the worms were destroyed. Which she  _ thought _ meant destroying her too. But you did the right thing.”

“But-”

“Hush, just hear me out.” He chided gently. “Barriss thought you could only stop the worms by killing the host, but you knew the freezing cold could kill them too.” 

She frowned, glancing over towards Barriss and then quickly moving her gaze elsewhere. She was projecting- embarrassment, uncertainty, conflict. 

_ So that’s the root of this. Geez, where the hell is Obi-Wan when you need him?  _

Of all the pillars of Jedi wisdom, this was the one Anakin struggled upholding the most. In fact, he was pretty sure that he was the least qualified person in the entire Order to talk about this, let alone teach it. 

But of course, he could tell Ahsoka none of this. Maybe one day, when she had grown up a little and experienced some more of the galaxy, they’d be able to have a talk about the realities of the Jedi Code and what Anakin really thought. But not today. Today his apprentice was young and unsure and needed her Master to offer some clarity. 

“Letting go of our attachments is a difficult struggle for all of us.” He began, not missing the flash of anxiety across their bond at the word ‘attachment’. 

“Ahsoka, Jedi have to let go of their attachments when and only when it’s necessary for the greater good. Wanting your friend to live, especially when you knew that there was another way to solve the problem, isn’t being overly attached. You followed your instincts.”

She thought for a moment, turning her lightsaber over and over in her hands; Anakin let her be. This particular perspective was something he’d been thinking through since the weapons factory exploded. When Luminara had said… 

“So, it’s kinda like the saying the clones have? Be at peace with the dead and fight like hell for the living?” 

Anakin chuckled.  _ I have the best padawan ever.  _ She sounded so bright, so optimistic, even after the nightmare of a week they’d all been through. 

“Well, we can’t argue with Rex and the boys now, can we?” 

She laughed, but he noticed how her gaze lingered on Barriss, focused on how still and silent she was. 

“Think about it, and we’ll meditate some more on it later, okay?” 

She rolled her eyes. “You’re actually going to meditate?”

He shook his head, standing up and stretching his arms overhead, flexing the stiff joints in his mechanical hand. 

“Absolutely not. I’ve got a new weapons system for the  _ Twilight _ and I need help installing it. Far superior to ordinary meditation.”

She laughed again and everything started to feel better, lighter in the Force. He tucked his cloak more securely around her, then tapped her nose with one finger just to hear her giggle again. 

“Will you be okay by yourself for a little bit? I want to check on the men and call down to Master Windu, see if we’re going to end up on Dantooine anytime soon.” 

She nodded, but there was still something on her mind, judging by how she fidgeted with her lightsaber. 

“Um, Master? Do you think the mess has snowballs?” 

Anakin smiled fondly, trying not to flinch at how young she sounded. He’d lost count of how many times he’d had to remember that Ahsoka was still a child, a Temple child at that. 

Snowballs were little more than crushed ice and a flavored syrup, but they were a favored tactic of the Temple healers. The ice was hydrating and soothing on sore throats and the sweet syrup mixed easily with medicine to conceal the taste. Even after Initiates got old enough to swallow pills, the sweet treat was often requested as a way to heal the spirit, if not the body. In truth, Anakin had no idea if the medical station even had the ingredients to make a snowball, but he’d figure something out if it made Ahsoka feel better. 

“Of course, kiddo. What kind?” 

She hummed, a crease forming on her brow as she considered the possibilities. 

“Grape?”

“You got it, Snips. Tell you what, I’ll bring it after you get some more rest, deal?” 

“Deal!”

Anakin adopted his best imitation of Obi-Wan, complete with the hands on hips and his you-better-mind-me expression. 

“Rest meaning sleep, little one, not playing cards with Rex.”

Ahsoka gave a mock salute before curling up and letting her eyes drift closed. The Knight lingered a moment longer until he felt her signature calm and her breathing slow. Then he headed off down the hall, in search of a strong cup of caf and a mess-droid he could re-program to make snowballs. 

_ You know, I think I might be getting the hang of this whole Master-thing. But they really do need to write books on this stuff, honestly how have we survived for as long as we have without any how-to guides? I mean our ships have manuals so why don’t we have any for literally raising our kids, c’mon!  _


	4. Caf & Consolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Both of them seemed to relax, the Force easing as the two teachers found solace in one another. But there was still something there, an undercurrent of misunderstanding born out of one of the scariest moments either of them had experienced."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got surprisingly more angsty and dark than originally intended. I've updated the tags to reflect that, and while nothing is graphic or explicit beyond the scope of the cartoon, it does include a conversation about death, so please make sure you're in a good headspace to read it.

Anakin was still deep in thought as he walked into the mess and headed straight for the caf dispenser. Kix got onto him constantly about his caf habit, but tea just didn’t cut it these days, no matter what Obi-Wan said. Most of the clones here were on strict bed rest so the mess, which was mostly used by medics and support staff, was empty. 

Anakin drummed his fingers against his cup absentmindedly, trying to figure out exactly how he was going to make a snowball. He had nearly worked it out when there was a murmur in the Force, like a child tugging on his sleeve. He turned and spotted a small figure at a small table tucked into the corner, hunched over their own cup. 

Luminara was also deep in thought; she clutched her cup tightly and her signature felt uncharacteristically weary. When she didn’t look up at his approach, Anakin pushed his signature lightly against hers. She finally tore herself from her introspection and looked up, managing a weak smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Anakin set his cup down at the place across from hers. 

“Need a refill?” 

She rolled her shoulders back , stretching the muscles in her neck. She inhaled, trying to straighten up and project her usual collected serenity. 

“Thank you, Master Skywalker. I’d appreciate that.” 

He nodded and tried to lighten the mood a bit when he returned with the fresh cup. 

“You can call me Anakin, you know.” 

“Hmm?”

“I mean, it wasn’t that long ago that I was wearing a braid and teasing Barriss out in the middle of some savannah.” He explained, hoping that she took it as genuinely as it was intended and not him trying to be prideful over his swift Knighting. 

She seemed to smile though, eyes sparkling a bit from the memory. “Ansion. Can you imagine how things would be, if we’d only known then…”

He chuckled. “Well for starters, I’d probably still have my hand.”

Luminara snorted, accidentally choking on her caf as she did so. She coughed a few times to clear her throat, but the smile stayed. 

“Ahsoka’s awake, then? How is she?” 

_ Well that’s not a loaded question at all.  _

Anakin nodded. “She’s alright, all things considered. We talked a bit and we’ll probably have to work through some stuff in the next few weeks. But from the security tapes, Barriss had it even worse, didn’t she?”

Luminara nodded mutely, her gaze dropping back to the table. “There’s a question of just how much she remembers…” 

They sat in silence for a minute too long for it to be comfortable so Anakin broke the quiet with his usual grace and tact. 

“How did you feel when you chose to take Barriss on as a padawan? Did you know, I mean, instinctually, that you were doing things right?”

Her signature turned spikey, like a pricklepup flaring its spines to defend itself. But then it relaxed just as quickly. Maybe she was just too tired to keep up the controlled front or maybe she just thought Anakin could use some reassurance. 

“Well, our beginning wasn’t too different from yours with Ahsoka. I was ready to teach an apprentice and Barriss was the only Mirilan old enough at that time. It’s our tradition, a way to pass on our culture through each generation.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “So you didn’t feel called together?”

“It was there, a clear tether within the Force, but it was weaker than most pairings have when they first start. But it’s grown exponentially since then and I have no doubt that our partnership was Force-willed. You and Ahsoka were put together much the same way, did you feel that connection right away?”

Anakin shut his eyes for a moment, the battle for Christophsis replaying in his mind as if it had happened yesterday. The booming of the cannons, the rattle of the marching battle droids, the painted sky full of pinks and purples and oranges as the battle finally ended and Anakin accepted Ahsoka as an apprentice, informal though it was. 

He opened his eyes. 

“Not at first. I was too worried about the battle we were losing and just shocked by how young she was. I told her no, but she didn’t back down. She wouldn’t give up, not on the battle and not on me. Her strength of faith, not just in herself, but all of us that were there…” He trailed off, still not quite believing all that had to align for their paths to cross, and wondering how different things would be if Obi-Wan had taken her instead of him. 

“I think others within our Order might look down on pairings like ours.” Luminara said candidly. “But I believe the Force pulls all Masters and Padawans together, whether by choice, assignment, or tradition. The will of the Force comes in many forms, none of which are more meaningful than the others.”

Anakin raised his glass. “I’ll drink to that.” 

Luminara laughed lightly and drank. Both of them seemed to relax, the Force easing as the two teachers found solace in one another. But there was still something there, an undercurrent of misunderstanding born out of one of the scariest moments either of them had experienced. 

Anakin hadn’t yet been able to talk to Ahsoka about her choice to blow up the weapons factory while still inside. He didn’t even know what he wanted to talk about, only that he kept replaying the last thing she’d said before the explosion over and over in his head. 

“How did you…” Anakin sighed, the question right in his mouth but he couldn’t bring himself to let the words out. He was keeping the memory, the emotions really, tightly locked within him. He was afraid that speaking about it again would let them loose, completely out of his control. 

Luminara buried her head in her hands and seemed to deflate. Her head was killing her, but the pain was nothing compared to the tangle of thoughts and feelings and teachings and fears that were rolling around in her mind. 

Anakin shut his mouth; he’d never seen the Mirilan Master look like this, look so unsteady. 

_ Is this how Obi-Wan feels when I’m not around?  _

He pushed that thought away, cementing his focus back to the moment and the elder Jedi. 

“Barriss and I,” she began, voice hesitant but gaining conviction as he spoke. “Barriss and I have spoken before. Briefly, a few times before the war, but more intensely since it began. We have spoken about the possibility that either of us might be killed before her Knighting.” 

Anakin paled, glancing down into his cup, wishing that it contained something much stronger than caf. 

Luminara took another breath and then straightened, forcing herself to meet the young Knight’s gaze. 

“It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do as a Master. To sit down with my charge and speak honestly about our own deaths. Not as a philosophical exercise, but as a consequence of our reality.” 

Anakin pulled a small multi-tool from his belt and began to fidget with it, the motion calming. “How did you do it?” 

Luminara shrugged, which would have made Anakin laugh if the topic wasn’t so dark. 

“I have no idea. The whole time we were talking, I just kept seeing this little girl getting her first tattoo.” she ran a hand over her own tattoos on her chin, as if soothing some phantom pain. “And here instead is this young woman. I’d never allowed myself to think that I might not live to see her be Knighted. Or worse, have her taken from me while in my care.”

She shook her head, rolling her shoulders back as she worked to find her proper mindset. She was a Master after all; she took a deep breath and let the Force carry away as much of her anxiety as she was able to let go of. 

“I have known that might happen since I became her teacher. I thought I had accepted it. But the war has forced all of us to truly accept the hard truths we were taught. Did you know that you and Barriss were the only padawans to survive the first battle of Geonosis?”

Anakin nodded. The sheer loss of life from that day had crippled the temple for weeks. Everyone had lost someone they had been close with. Friends, classmates, many Masters, and many Padawans. The Jedi taught that death must be accepted, that peace could be found through letting go of their emotional attachments. But the volume of grief strained the limits of the temple elders, even Master Yoda. 

Anakin had coped by throwing himself into work. As soon as he’d been cleared for duty and modified his prosthetic, he went to work with Obi-Wan on the front lines. 

Not everyone was lucky enough to have a war as their distraction. He’d heard during a comm call with an old age-mate that the CrecheMasters were at their wits end. The older Initiates were riddled with anxiety, afraid they’d never get to be padawans with so few Knights left to train them. The younger children weren’t able to shield as well and were being overwhelmed by all the emotion, with little experience on how to process them or release them to the Force. The Council became so desperate that an entire division of the Agricorps were recalled to the temple to help in the Creche. Last he heard, they were still working there. 

“I don’t know if the Jedi should ever have gotten involved in the war.” Anakin said, voicing a doubt he rarely allowed himself to consider. “But I also don’t know if anyone else could’ve done what we’re able to do. And I think the Council almost feels responsible for the whole thing. Because Dooku used to be one of us.” 

Luminara’s expression darkened and then smoothed out into calm acknowledgement. 

“I don’t know if we have fully grasped the consequences this war will have on our Order. Especially for our youngest. I think that changes will have to be made if we are to survive after this. If we are to be a pillar in the galaxy, we must evolve with the galaxy.”

“That’s why I couldn’t stop, I think.” He murmured. 

Anakin could feel her eyes on him, but when he looked up from his hands he found n o judgement in her gaze. Only patience, and the need to understand. 

“Because Ahsoka’s so young, because she hasn’t had the chance to be a peacekeeper, what she’s really meant to do, and… because I haven’t prepared her like you have with Barriss. I wasn’t going to stop until I found her. I didn’t think, I just had to act.” 

Luminara nodded, then reached out through the Force to bump his signature with a bit of reassurance. He was a new Knight and a new teacher, and she knew it wouldn’t do any good to tell him that you never really felt confident in teaching, that there was always something new to learn. 

For instance, while she cared greatly for her Padawan and knew that Barriss cared for her, they did not express those emotions easily. And during normal circumstances, this dynamic worked well for the both of them. Like Ahsoka, Barriss had also pushed for independence, so Luminara had made a conscious effort not to act more like a mother than a teacher. 

But these were not normal circumstances. And while she did question the intensity of Anakin’s emotional attachments, she couldn’t help but wonder if his expression of that attachment was what helped keep Ahsoka alive. 

_ Did Barriss know that I was searching for her? Did she think I would leave her just because we’d both been prepared for the worst? _

__ She shook her head again, as if to clear those thoughts away and reached for her cup, only to find it missing. She looked around and saw Anakin walking back over with both cups; she’d been too lost in thought to even notice he’d gotten up. 

They sat in silence again for some time. Anakin had been thinking as well, marveling at Luminara’s calm under such distress. He couldn’t imagine having to talk to Ahsoka, to admit that he might not be strong enough to save her or to even keep himself alive so he could continue her training. That wasn’t something he could do; he wasn’t going to give that possibility any power by speaking of it aloud. 

But was Luminara right? If he was already putting her through the nightmares of a battlefield, was he doing her a disservice by not talking about death, their own deaths?

_ You could always ask her. Just see what she thinks. Maybe she’s coping just fine and you’re the one with the problem. Ugh, my head hurts too much for this.  _

“Anakin?”

The Knight’s head snapped up, finding Luminara smiling softly at him. Her presence felt quieter, warmer. Still worn out, but it felt as if something had lifted for the time being, allowing her to reclaim her trademark peace. 

“I was going to stop by the recovery ward and check on Barriss. Would you walk with me?” 

Anakin’s face brightened and he found himself smiling, in spite of it all. Sure, he struggled to understand her perspective when it came to the Code, but they were essentially both teachers just trying to do the best for their students. Ahsoka and Barriss were becoming close friends, which tended to happen when you faced near death experiences together. He wanted Ahsoka to have friends, she would need them to be there if he couldn’t. Luminara was a very good Jedi and an amazing teacher and Anakin really wanted her to like him, if only for Ahsoka’s sake. Perhaps this was the first step down that path. 

“Of course. Oh, but first!” 

He got to his feet and rushed to the door, sticking his head out into the hallway to look for anyone that might interrupt his scheme. He was still grinning as he came back, eyes alight and signature swirling with mischievous energy that he’d never grown out of. 

“What’s Barriss’s favorite snowball flavor?” 


	5. Reading Between the Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Caring for other people and wanting them to be okay is not the same as attachment. Jedi are called to be compassionate, which we can't do unless we actually care about people, not just say we do. Think about it, if we really didn't care about each other, nothing would ever get done around here!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if this counts as Barriss/Ahsoka but I'm tagging it anyway. Mostly for the added angst, given how things turned out for them in the end. And really, what wlw hasn't asked themselves, "Do I want to date her or be her best friend?"

“Alright Snips, one extra large snowball-- Snips!?”

Anakin rushed into the room and crouched beside Ahsoka, who had crumpled onto the floor. She’d managed to push herself up a bit to lean back against her bed frame, but she was pale, mouth pressed into a thin line as one hand clutched at her bruised montrals. 

“Sorry, Master.” She managed through gritted teeth. “I know I wasn’t ‘posed to get up yet, but she’s projecting and I wanted to see if I could help but I got dizzy and-”

Anakin glanced up and quickly realized that Barriss was caught in some kind of nightmare, tossing and turning, bringing her hands up to protect her face against some unseen attackers. He looked back at Ahsoka; a quick scan showed that her shields were still weakened from the healing trance and whatever Barriss was broadcasting was so painful that Ahsoka was funneling it down their own bond to relieve some of the pressure.  _ Well that explains my own headache.  _

“Okay, okay, take a breath. First things first.” He clasped Ahsoka’s forearms tightly, pulled her to her feet, and kept her steady until she was back in bed. But she wouldn’t lie down, pulling her knees into her chest and keeping her eyes locked on Barriss. 

Less than thirty seconds since Anakin had entered the room, Luminara came in, eyes widening as she took in the scene. Ahsoka was clearly distressed, fingers digging into the sides of her lekku, as if she could physically block out the mental attack. Barriss’s limbs were twisted in her sheets, tears beginning to stream down her face as the nightmare refused to let go. 

Luminara rushed forward and sat down next to her padawan. Carefully, calmly, she placed her right hand on the girl’s chest, just over her heart. Then she moved her left hand to her own chest, closed her eyes, and submerged herself deeply within the Force, using their bond as a tether to draw Barriss out. 

_ /Padawan, be still. I am here, and you are safe. Whatever you’re seeing, it isn’t real. It is only a dream. Come back to me, Barriss./  _

The young woman stilled, drawing her arms away from her face. Luminara could feel her drawing closer to her teacher’s presence, but she still would not open her eyes. 

_ /Master?/  _

Luminara smiled, infusing their bond with calm and peace and natural affection that had grown over all their years together. She did it slowly, like fresh tea leaves steeping into hot water. Too much might startle her, too slow might allow the dark specters to regain their foothold within her mind. 

Ahsoka slumped forward, gasping in relief as the stabbing pain in her mind receded. Anakin rubbed her upper back and shoulder blades lightly, extending silent filaments of support to both Ahsoka and the other Master. He would not intrude on their bond, but their decade long connection made it impossible to look away. 

_ /Yes, my dear. I am real, your nightmares are not. Trust me, open your eyes and see that you are safe. Wake up, Barriss. Now, that’s an order, my padawan./  _

Well, an order was an order. And Barriss, ever the dutiful student, simply could not refuse a direct order, regardless of circumstance. Sensing her student’s pull to wakefulness, Luminara opened her eyes and folded her hands in her lap, meeting Barriss with a soft expression as she blinked her eyes open. 

Barriss glanced around, taking in her surroundings as her vision focused until she was finally able to clearly meet her Master’s gaze. Their bond brightened into a warm glow that made both Master and Padawan smile, allowing them to ease further into their shared serenity. 

“Master. It’s good to see you.” She cleared her throat, voice raspier than she would have liked. “I’m afraid… there’s parts I don’t quite remember. Or, I remember what happened, but I wasn’t  _ there _ . I wasn’t experiencing it, only observing from some external place. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have been so easily overtaken.” 

Luminara shook her head. “I watched some of the security camera’s footage. You could not have done more to fight them off, outnumbered as you were. But we can discuss that later. How are you feeling?” 

Barriss stretched a bit and pushed herself to sit up. She rolled her neck in a slow circle, scanning her body for any lingering injuries. 

“I’m okay, physically. Sore, but that’s to be expected.” She ran a hand over her ribcage, trailing fingers finding the edges of a stiff bandage even through her robes.

“I’m a little disoriented, though.” She grimaced, which was as close as she ever got to being truly grouchy. “I don’t like sedatives; it makes everything feel all hazy in the Force and it’s hard to get a clear sense of things.” 

Luminara nodded sympathetically, reaching up to tug at the edges of Barriss’s headscarf, tucking a stray wisp of dark hair back where it belonged. “Master Fisto wouldn’t need to use sedatives if you would let yourself sleep, Padawan.” 

The rebuke was gentle and meant in jest, but Barriss still blushed, forcing herself not to fidget with the blankets. She closed her eyes, trying to reach back to clarify more of her memories and then jumped, sitting up straighter. She fought to keep her tone in check as she looked at Luminara intensely. 

“Master, is Ahsoka okay? I didn’t hurt her did-”

Her question trailed off as Luminara stood, revealing the Togruta in question and her own Master, both sitting cross-legged on the adjacent bed. 

Ahsoka grinned, pulling a spoon from her mouth, eyes and Force signature sparking with delight. 

“Barriss! I’m glad you’re awake; I was getting worried. I mean, Master told me that you’re just more sensitive than me to the meds but you were asleep for such a long time, it’s really really great to see you up again!” 

Barriss couldn’t help but laugh, both at her exuberance and at how Ahsoka’s lips and mouth were stained an odd purple color. The girl took another bite of her snowball, still beaming. “D’you want yours?” She asked around the utensil. 

The older padawan looked up at her Master, not bothering to hide her confusion. Her teacher simply smiled and handed her a spoon and a small cup of bright orange crushed ice that had melted only slightly from sitting on her bedside table. At Ahsoka’s encouraging nod, she took a hesitant bite and then looked at Luminara who chuckled at her surprised expression and her questioning bump across their bond. 

“Of course I got you mango flavor, what else would I have picked?” 

Ahsoka started to giggle and Barriss simply flushed, enjoying the childhood treat with equal amounts of gusto and gratitude. 

* * *

The unmoored nature of space meant that it was impossible for Anakin to know exactly how much later it was when Ahsoka’s excited ramblings about her new fighter modifications they’d been working on together were interrupted by a jaw-cracking yawn. She blushed and even Barriss couldn’t help the small laugh that slipped out. She’d been enjoying their conversation too, but her energy reserves were still weakened and she could no longer deny the pull of sleep. Ahsoka, apparently, had other ideas. 

“Alright kiddo, time for bed.”

“Oh c’mon Master, ten more minutes please!” 

Luminara suppressed the urge to roll her eyes, though she was privately amused to see Ahsoka acting more like a teenager than a military commander. It was still unbecoming of a Padawan to argue so openly with their Master, but Luminara had long accepted the pair’s casual relationship with protocol. 

“I wasn’t asking, Snips. If you want Master Fisto to clear you then you need to get some rest. I’ve already agreed to limit your physical training for the next week, but I can easily make it two.” 

“But Masterrrr! Who knows when Barriss and I will get to see each other again?” 

Anakin flinched, instantly understanding what she’d been afraid to say out loud. Judging from the ripple in Barriss and Luminara’s signatures, they had heard it too.  _ There’s a chance we’ll never get to see each other again.  _

__ “Master Sky- um, Anakin?” The Mirilan Master ventured, ignoring the surprised looks from both apprentices. “Barriss excels in her delicate Force control, but I think she could benefit from your skill with gathering and managing large amounts of energy. And I would be happy to work with Ahsoka on integrating her reverse grip into Form III. From what I understand, she’s received a good foundation on Soresu from her Grandmaster.” 

Ahsoka nodded and looked eagerly between the two elder Jedi. Barriss had also caught her Master’s meaning but was careful not to seem too emotionally invested. 

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Master Lumianra. I’m sure the Council can arrange some time for the four of us to be back in-Temple. After Genonosis, I’d say the 501st and 41st have more than earned some leave too.” 

“I’ll put in the request myself.” 

Well, it would be less of a request and more of an emphatic suggestion. An emphatic suggestion loosely phrased as suitable compensation for a second near-death experience on Geonosis in less than five years. Luminara would never openly admit her level of influence within the Council, but what good was influence if she couldn’t use it for her student’s benefit? 

Ahsoka cheered and punched the air excitedly. Some time in-Temple  _ and _ a Padawan-swap with her new friend? It almost made the last week of facing gunfire, explosions, and brain-invading parasites worth it. 

“Alright, but I don’t want to hear any more arguing about rest until you’re healed up. Which means,” Anakin stood up and stretched before adopting the closest thing he had to a stern expression. “Bedtime. Now.” 

Ahsoka pouted but acquiesced quickly, wriggling down under the covers, setting her saber just within reach. The Knight crouched by her bed and tucked the blanket more securely around her before placing a gentle hand over the bandages on her lek. 

“Want some help falling asleep?” 

Ahsoka dropped all but her primary shields and pushed a wave of gratitude across the link. She watched Anakin’s eyes as it registered; the blue-grey tones brightened and he seemed to relax, wrapping the bond between them in warmth and calm. They still had some things to discuss, but for tonight, he was content knowing she was safe and on the mend. 

_ /No thanks. You need to go to sleep too, Skyguy. Promise?/  _

__ _ /Alright, Snips. Promise./  _

__ Barriss gave the pair their privacy, although it was interesting to learn that her Master had something in common with the renegade ‘Chosen One’. Nearly every night since Master Unduli had forged their bond, she’d tucked Barriss in before retiring herself. They never spoke of it, like they never spoke of so many aspects of their partnership, but the ritual always put Barriss’ mind at ease. Especially if she’d been injured or if they’d had a difficult mission, but even on the most unremarkable of days, the feeling of a blanket infused with her Master’s familiar Force signature was the most powerful expression of security. 

Luminara kept her expression neutral as she smoothed the edges of the white med-center blanket around her charge. Her padawan was a young woman now and would soon be on her own. And while she expected a great deal of maturity from Barriss, there were some things she never had to grow out of. 

“Sleep well, Padawan.” She murmured softly in Mirinale, a variant of Basic that was rarely used outside their home planet. 

“And you as well, Master.” Barriss responded in kind, before letting her eyes fall shut and allowing her mind to wander, hoping that the nightmares had finally retreated back into whatever dark crevice they spawned from, that she might enjoy a rare unbroken night’s rest. 

* * *

Long after the Masters had left, Ahsoka tossed and turned, unable to settle down. She ran through the breathing exercises she’d learned in the Creche, the visualization techniques Master Plo had taught her, and even one trick that Echo swore could put him to sleep in the middle of a battlefield. 

But none of them helped. There was something tugging at her, had been since she woke up, preventing her from sinking into truly restoring sleep. And since the last thing she wanted was for Master Fisto to knock her back into a healing trance, she decided to roll over and address the problem directly. 

“Barriss? You asleep?” She whispered. 

There was a shifting of covers and then Ahsoka watched the older Padawan turn over to face her, eyes blinking open with a muffled note of annoyance in the Force. 

Barriss barely managed to avoid jumping back in alarm at the two glowing eyes staring at her from across the room, belatedly remembering that Togrutans were genetically predisposed to see in the dark to hunt nocturnal creatures. Still, the eyeshine was a little unsettling, biology notwithstanding. 

“Not yet, anyway. What is it?”She asked, calm and composed as ever. 

Ahsoka worried her lower lip with one of her pointed teeth but eventually sighed and propped herself up one elbow. 

“Are you okay? I mean, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to but you know that I won’t tell anyone anything, and really, are you okay?”

Barriss looked up towards the ceiling and seriously considered lying to the girl. She was supposed to be setting a good example, not that she could make that much of an impact on the brash, high-spirited teenager, not after being under Skywalker’s wing for nearly a year. But there was something genuine in her tone, something about being in this room that was so separated from the violence in the outer galaxy that changed her mind. She turned back to meet Ahsoka’s gaze and spoke candidly. 

“I’m alive, for which I am grateful. Though it was very unexpected.” 

Ahsoka snorted. “More unexpected than the parasitic brain worms?” 

Barriss didn’t acknowledge her poor attempt at humor, merely continuing at her usual measured pace, every word chosen with deliberate care. 

“I am glad that our mission was successful, with all things considered. And I am glad that the affected troopers were able to recover.” 

Ahsoka bit her tongue, sensing something lurking within Barriss, a disturbance she couldn’t quite shake off. 

“Ahsoka, I-. I thought-.” She clamped down on her spiraling emotions, moving her eyes back to the ceiling in an effort to finish her sentence. 

“I should thank you, Ahsoka. In just a few days, you’ve saved my life twice.” When she allowed herself to think of it, Barriss could still hear the roar of the explosion and the phantom threat of suffocation within the rubble of the collapsed factory made it hard for her to breathe. 

“Yeah, and? You saved my life too, we would’ve been dead if you hadn’t memorized all those tunnels. And even when you were… not entirely you… you still fought back! You were strong enough to resist them, if only for a short time. That’s pretty amazing.”

Barriss exhaled heavily as she struggled to orient her feelings, separate the facts of the situation from her insecurities. It was so much easier to be objective when you weren’t examining your own failures. 

“Ahsoka, I need to know. Would you have killed me? If there was no other choice?”

The two bits of light snuffed out as Ahsoka shut her eyes and turned away. Barriss could feel the swirl and turmoil of her emotions and was about to backtrack when the younger padawan suddenly looked back and smiled. 

“No. I wouldn’t have. Because there  _ was _ another choice. My great-grandmaster apparently had this saying: ‘Your focus determines your reality’. I wasn’t focused on killing the worms, I was focused on keeping the ship, the medical station, and everyone involved as safe as I could. So I was able to find a way to knock everyone out.”

“But what if there hadn’t been another way?” Barriss protested, fear staining her voice. “I was willing to make that sacrifice if it meant saving the station, just like you were willing to sacrifice yourself in the factory.”

“Why do you think I didn’t want to kill you in the first place? What we did in the factory was impulsive and stupid and we’re lucky we even made it out as well as we did. Anakin taught me that there’s always hope for a good outcome, there’s always another way and now I know exactly what he meant. If anything, the factory just made me more determined to get us both out alive.”

Barriss exhaled audibly, not bothering to hide her exasperation. “You let your emotions get in the way. Don’t you know how dangerous attachments are? I can’t believe your Master encourages something like that.” 

Ahsoka didn’t budge, bolstered by her earlier conversation with her Master. 

“Caring for other people and wanting them to be okay is not the same as attachment. Jedi are called to be compassionate, which we can’t do unless we actually care about people, not just say we do. Think about it, if we really didn’t care about each other, nothing would ever get done around here!”

She giggled, in spite of the heaviness she felt in Barriss’s signature. “If we didn’t care about anyone, we’d all be like the Sith, just alone and fighting for ourselves, for our own power. I like our way a lot better. It’s messy, for sure, but at least we still get to have friends.”

Ahsoka nudged the Mirilan at that, hoping she might get the message because she wasn’t entirely certain she could verbalize her thoughts without sounding ridiculous. 

‘Friendship’ was such a layered concept within the Jedi Order, particularly with the older generations. How close was too close? Where was the line between genuine connection and overt emotional attachment? As a result, most Jedi tiptoed around the subject, correcting only when a problem occurred. 

According to Anakin, attachments were the only way they were going to survive this war without completely numbing themselves emotionally. You had to trust your troops and fellow Jedi, know that they would help you because they wanted to, not out of obligation. And Ahsoka tended to agree, although she was acutely aware of just how dangerous those attachments could become if not carefully tended. Emotions that were intense when things were good tended to be just as intense when things were bad, and there was no such thing as a guarantee.

But she liked Barriss, a lot. She was a model Padawan, everything Ahsoka hoped she might be someday, minus all the formalities. They were both going to be Jedi Knights someday and Ahsoka desperately wanted a Jedi like Barriss on her side. Someone she could trust to have her back, to have an unspoken agreement that they’d pick each other up when things go bad, without fear of being judged for their weakness. 

Barriss considered and then smiled at Ahsoka. Their teachers and their perspectives might be as opposite as Tatooine and Hoth, yet if all the Jedi principles were stripped away- Ahsoka was, at her core, kind. And Barriss knew better than to turn away kindness when it was offered so freely and with so much enthusiasm. 

“Yes. We get to have friends.”

The darkened room may have been able to hide Ahsoka’s blush, but not her smile as she beamed and curled back under her blanket. Barriss took a deep breath and relaxed into her own bed as a soft sense of peace filled the space, an echo chamber shielding against the coming day and the new challenges they would surely face once they were back on their feet. 

“Goodnight Barriss!”

“Goodnight, Ahsoka.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left! Thank you so much for sticking with this & reading & leaving such awesome comments. I can't tell you enough how much it means to me to see y'all enjoying a story I had to practically resurrect from my drafts. 😅 Until next time- may the Force be with you!


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ahsoka tightened her grip and lunged at Master Luminara, feinting an overhand strike before spinning and driving the point of her saber straight at the elder Jedi’s midsection. 
> 
> Less than a heartbeat later- she slammed into the vinyl floor mat for what had to be the hundredth time since they’d started the padawan-swap three days ago. Both Masters had said she’d made progress, but it was hard to tell with all the bruises. "

_ 6 weeks later…. _

“Come now Ahsoka, find an opening. If there isn’t one, you must make one.” 

Ahsoka tightened her grip and lunged at Master Luminara, feinting an overhand strike before spinning and driving the point of her saber straight at the elder Jedi’s midsection. 

Less than a heartbeat later- she slammed into the vinyl floor mat for what had to be the hundredth time since they’d started the padawan-swap three days ago. Both Masters had said she’d made progress, but it was hard to tell with all the bruises. 

“Ughhhhhh.” She groaned, rolling onto her back to stare up at the ceiling. The Mirilan Master’s face appeared above her a moment later and offered a sympathetic smile. 

“Are you alright, Ahsoka?” 

“If I say no, will you take it easy on me?” 

Luminara chuckled and extended her hand, pulling the girl to her feet. She scanned her briefly through their temporary link; she  _ was _ being very tough on Ahsoka but that didn’t mean she wanted her injured. “Has your master ever taken it easy on you?” 

“I can definitively say that he does not, Master.” Barriss called from across the room, voice strained with effort. 

Ahsoka rubbed at the new bruise blooming on her shoulder and looked over to see what the other pair was working on. A wave of gratitude involuntarily surged from her to Luminara.  _ He can’t be serious.  _

Barriss was standing on one foot, maintaining her balance and posture enough to keep a small ball from rolling off the top of her head. At the same time, she was holding R2-D2 aloft with the Force, at least three meters above the ground. R2, a stack of barbell plates that had to weigh more than she did, and Anakin himself. 

Luminara shook her head and walked closer to observe the exercise. While her padawan was nowhere near able to manage the massive quantities of energy Skywalker could, she was very pleased with her effort and determination. 

Ahsoka took advantage of the distraction to fetch her canteen and sit back down, guzzling water like they were back in the Tatooine desert. She watched with intense curiosity as Luminara approached her Padawan. Barriss was flushed, sweat beading on her brow as she fought to keep everything together. They’d been practicing for over an hour at this point, but this was the longest she’d managed to hold on yet. 

With a warm smile, Luminara locked eyes with her student and began a simple breathing exercise. It took a great deal longer than normal, but eventually Barriss joined in. After focusing on her breath, the objects steadied where they were hovering in the air, though she was still wobbling slightly. This was pushing against the edges of her endurance but there was no better way to find her limitation. 

“That’s it.” Luminara said with an encouraging smile. “Drop your shoulders away from your ears. You must let go of the tension within you.” 

“Yes Master.” Barriss gritted out, rapidly trying to figure out how she was supposed to divert energy and attention to do that without dropping everything. 

“And why does she need to relax her shoulders, Snips?” Anakin called from above them. He was also greatly enjoying the padawan swap, especially when the two girls learned from each other. Barriss continually pushed herself, setting a demanding pace; Ahsoka was a renegade, always finding an unexpected solution to the challenges the Masters presented. It’d been a great idea, almost worth the disaster that had brought them together. 

Ahsoka pulled herself up, ignoring her body’s protests, and jogged over, skirting out of the way of the hovering objects just in case. 

“The energy has to flow through us. If she’s tensed anywhere, it becomes a choke point, making it harder to maintain.” 

“That a girl! You want to try?” 

Ahsoka’s eyes widened, darting between Barriss and her Master. A trill of uncertainty rippled off of her, not that Barriss could blame her in the slightest. Three days of training with Master Skywalker had been intense to say the least. 

“All of it?!” 

“Not all at once. Let Barriss transfer them to you, one at a time. Hold them for a minute and then set them down. Carefully set them down, okay?” 

He exchanged a quick glance with Luminara, who nodded her approval. They’d been working to help the girls improve their skills as a unit and this was a perfect test. 

She hesitated for a moment then nodded, taking a stance at Barriss’ side. 

“Parade rest, Ahsoka.” 

“What? Aw no, c’mon!” 

Barriss spared a fragment of concentration to glance sidelong at her friend. “Ahsoka is this really the best time to argue?” 

Ahsoka rolled her eyes but readjusted, reaching behind her back to clasp both elbows. He was doing this on purpose, forcing her to manipulate the energy without moving her hands as a guide. 

Luminara stepped back and behind the Padawans. “You must connect both to the object and each other for this to work. Barriss, don’t let go of more than she can take and Ahsoka, don’t take too quickly or you’ll throw Barriss off balance.” 

With a curt nod, Barrriss began to slowly lift her control on the stack of weights. Ahsoka took a breath, extended her energy, and wrapped around it like a vine. Gradually it expanded into a net of control, allowing Barriss to release more and more. 

Finally, the stack was totally in Ahsoka’s control and Barriss withdrew her energy with a long exhale. She was still stressed, but things were getting easier. Ahsoka held the stack for a minute before carefully lowering it to the ground. Her control faltered minutely and one of the weights fell from the top of the stack just before it settled on the ground. Both girls winced but they held their ground and refocused. 

R2 went a lot easier; Ahsoka was already familiar with the astromech’s shape and mass and how it felt to move him through space. She had to be careful not to take it all at once and risk disturbing Barriss’ hold on Anakin. But a minute later, Ahsoka giggled as she released her hold on R2 and he zoomed away, far out of reach of any more training exercises. 

_ One more. I can do this.  _ Barriss thought, trying to bolster what was left of her energy. Slowly, carefully, with the utmost precision and concentration- she started to transfer her hold around Anakin to Ahsoka. 

Though she didn’t show it, Ahsoka was equally as nervous. They’d practiced this before: how to stop one another from falling or even slowing a fall enough so they could catch their bearings. But this wasn’t quite the same and Ahsoka was hesitant as she began to wrap her energy around her teacher. 

This was a test of sorts and Anakin tried to let her be, but he couldn’t help send an encouraging bump across their bond.  _ /Don’t be so tentative. I’m not going to break./  _

_ Oh really?  _

When Ahsoka finally took over Barriss’ hold, the young woman did her best to relax gracefully. Instead she collapsed forward onto her hands and knees; Ahsoka’s signature spiked with concern but she forced her focus back to the moment and the process of getting her Master down to the ground safely. 

But that didn’t mean she couldn’t have a  _ little _ fun, dropping her hold roughly a half meter off the ground so he hit the training mat with a dull thud. 

“What was that for?” He griped, getting to his feet and putting hands on hips in a perfect imitation of Master Kenobi. 

Ahsoka giggled. “You said you wouldn’t break, I wanted to test your theory. You okay, Barriss?” 

The padawan in question had gotten to her feet but was still swaying on the spot, to the point Luminara felt it necessary to wrap a steadying hand around her upper arm. 

“I would like to sleep for the next few rotations or so. But other than that, I’m fine. Thank you, Master Skywalker.” She said, dipping her head in lieu of a formal bow that would likely just send her falling back over. 

Anakin squeezed her shoulder, practically glowing with pride at how they’d both performed. “Of course, Barriss. It’s nice to have a cooperative student for once.” 

“Hey!” Ahsoka folded her arms over her chest and pouted out of mock-outrage. She thought she’d held up pretty well, despite how many times she’d been knocked onto the floor over the last few days. 

“Master Skywalker, have you considered letting Ahsoka work with two sabers?” 

Anakin’s eyebrows show into his hairline. “Jar-kai? You think she’s got the precision for it?” 

Ahsoka looked back and forth between the two, still unable to read Master Unduli’s perpetually serene expression. Precision and technicality was a weakness of hers; she was often so focused on speed and throwing off an opponent’s balance over anything else. 

Luminara observed her quietly for a moment and then looked back at the Knight. “Yes, I believe her reverse grip is uniquely suited to dual wielding. It would certainly help with her left guard and could easily give her an easy transition into Makashi as well.” 

“Huh.” Anakin crossed his arms over his chest and scanned over Ahsoka, thinking. “In that case, I guess you’ll be needing another saber.” 

Ahsoka sprang up, fatigue completely forgotten as she bounced up and down. “Really?! You’ll really take me to Illum?” 

Anakin laughed at her enthusiasm. “Hit your brakes, Snips. Practice saber first and if it works, we’ll see if we can take a quick detour to Illum. Only if it works, got it?” 

Ahsoka barely heard him, her mind was racing so fast. “Got it! I’ll practice everyday I promise. Thank you, Master Luminara!” She tried to settle down, tried to act more dignified and collected like Barriss but it was just too exciting. Two lightsabers!! 

Luminara smiled. “Thank you for a very engaging Padawan-swap, Ahsoka. And you as well, Master Skywalker. We shall have to arrange another one of these when time allows.” 

Anakin nodded, wrapping an arm around Ahsoka’s shoulders and letting his pride pulse through the bond, unshielded. She’d really given it her all, they both had, and it was amazing to him that even on their rare breaks from a warzone, they were both so willing to give their absolute best effort in their training. 

“We’re shipping back out in the morning, but I completely agree. Our girls make an excellent team. They learn very well from each other.”

“Yes.” She replied, keen gaze not missing the hidden meaning in that trademark smirk of his. “I think they’ve learned quite a lot. Well. I better get this one to bed before she falls over, and leave you to prep for your assignment.”

Ahsoka wrapped her arms around Barriss in a massive hug, flooding their new connection with warmth and gratitude and her overwhelming hope that they  _ would _ see each other again. They had to. 

Barriss stiffened a moment, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of emotion and the ease of which Ahsoka could express them. But she melted into the hug as well, returning it with one just as big. She would never say it, but this friendship was something she’d desperately needed. 

“May the Force be with you, Ahsoka. Keep safe out there.”

“You too, Barriss. Call when you can.”

In a perfect galaxy, they wouldn’t have given the hug a second thought, knowing they’d meet again soon with absolute certainty. But this wasn’t a perfect galaxy. And eventually, they had to step back. Both Masters and Padawans smiled at one another and exchanged bows before leaving the training room and going their separate ways. The paths that had intertwined them so many weeks ago had brought them back together and then unwound again. Of course, they had no way of knowing when or how or even if the will of the Force would pull them in the same direction again. But they would all be lying, every single one of them, if they said that there wasn’t  _ something _ deep within them that felt otherwise. That felt certain this fire-forged connection would become much more meaningful than any of them had ever imagined. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! Thank you so much for your kudos and lovely comments. They feed the mighty Muse and are always appreciated. Until next time- may the Force be with you!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are the best gift ever, doesn't matter if you love it or hate it. May the Force be with you!


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